The other day, my OCD playing up, I decided to clear out my kitchen drawers. I just knew my whole life would fall into place if I just managed to somehow put the order back into my kitchen drawers. And today was the day I was going to tackle it.
The plan of course being, that after the kitchen I would straighten out the rest of the house. Just entering the front door would be enough to put me in a Zen like state from now on. That was the idea anyway. Long before I opened the kitchen drawers.
Who knew that I had so much food stashed away, I could feed the whole village for a week, without once having to go to the shops. I count eight (eight!) tins of tomato paste; another seven tins of chopped tomatoes; enough flour to bake bread and cakes to last us for months (years?) and twelve half empty bags of different types of pasta, all with slightly different cooking times of course.
I have long since suspected the Pasta Mafia of intentionally selling pasta in such quantities to guarantee people always end up with an odd assortment of non-matching pasta shapes, wasting away in cupboards world wide. But I digress (although from now on we are buying just one type of pasta). Back to the drawers. The sheer volume and diversity of my rice collection makes me giggle. There is sushi rice, basmati rice, risotto rice, wok rice, brown rice, white rice & wild rice. And then their is couscous, bulgur, quinoa, organic quinoa and barley.
I could also perfectly see my tendency to completely getting hooked on a food trend to only abandon it within weeks. But not before buying all the necessities to change my diet for ever. So I shamefacedly look at tubs filled with (expensive) poppy & hemp seeds, dried cranberry’s, apricots and dates. Undoubtedly very, very good for you, but not that easily incorporated in a life, in which I eat breakfast in my car four days a week (after several ‘accidents’ I decided that peanut butter sandwiches don’t leak, crumble or otherwise spill my outfit for the day, whilst at the same time fill me up for a good couple of hours).
Pulses turn out to be another weakness. Buying pulses that is. Because I find packet after packet of dried split peas, lentils, chick peas and mung beans. And then I have not even mentioned the tins of mixed beans, chick peas, white, red and brown beans, butter beans & kidney beans. Funnily enough I do not find countless packets of crisps, chocolate biscuits, or Maltesers, nor do I find dozens of bottles of forgotten wine, or ten different flavoured chocolate bars. These items clearly never last for more than a day.
Now that I did take stock, I feel I should eat all this food. Two spoons full of hemp seed a day, topped up with some butter beans straight from the tin should do it. Lentil soup, lentil salad and lentil casserole will be a daily fixture from now on as well. And of course lots and lots of rice and pulses. Hungry anyone?
PS: Please, feel free to come help me eat all this food. There is only one condition. You have to bring chocolate!